Hubs is gone. I really shouldn't be complaining because this deployment is ridiculously short and he may come back even sooner than originally planned. He also left later than we originally planned. But it doesn't matter if they're gone for a few days, a few months or a year, if you miss someone, you miss them, and that hurts. I don't need anyone to pull the "oh a few months? that's NOTHING. try a whole year" card or any other snarky comments. What makes this hard for me, though, is that I do not have any friends or family here. I don't have the option to move back home...unless I want to quit my job.
I'm still off work, too. Since my manager was so kind to just take me off the schedule I ended up with nearly 2 weeks off. The break is really nice, especially since after awhile I was doing this "on, off, on off" business instead of having my three nights on and four-six days off. It was really burning me out.
But now I'm so bored! I want to go back to work lol. Granted, there are things I could be doing, and should be doing, like tidying up this apartment because hubs left is a total mess, but I've pretty much been just a couch potato lately.
I started doing pilates. I'm determined to tone and sculpt my body because it's starting to get a little flabby. I really like it and I've just been searching for free videos on You Tube to work out to. I wish Fort Hood had free pilates classes, though. I would so go to them!
I also already started working on hubs' care package. I ordered the shipping materials and they won't be here for another 7-10 days, but I went to Hobby Lobby and bought the stuff to decorate it with. I'm also doing this little project:
http://papervinenz.blogspot.com/2012/01/52-reasons-i-love-you-cards-tutorial.html
There are so many variations. Mine isn't as pretty because I don't have a fancy printer or anything, so I'm just using a deck of red cards and writing my 52 reasons on pink sticky notes and cutting them down to size. I bought little pink & red faux gemstones to stick on the front and I also bought a little mini heart paper cut-out thing so I'll be decorating the pages with hearts. I bought Valentine's Day-themed scrapbooking paper to decorate the inside of the care package along with some other stuff. I haven't bought any contents to go inside yet, but I already have ideas. I also want to attempt to ship some cookies and bake some cakes in a jar :)
Got a call from a friend today, same guy who was our best man at our wedding. It was nice to catch up. He'll be deploying soon, too. And when he comes back, him, hubs, myself, and whoever else are fucking going to Vegas. No if's, and's, or but's this time haha.
I know exactly how you feel. I just want to you know that I'm here if you need someone to talk to, I can give you my email address if you need someone to chat with who understands what you are going through. Hang it there, it won't get easier, but you will find a way to deal with it and make it through until he comes home again. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Kathryn, I really appreciate it! I'm also here if you need someone to talk to - I am always willing to listen! <3
DeleteI did the 52 reasons, hand did it cause no printer too. I used stamps though on it as well (I got a $1 stamp at Jo Ann's and used parts of it in various ways it was VDay themed).
ReplyDeleteBut I know how you feel about your husband being gone. Mine goes in and out to sea. Yes he isn't gone long. No it isn't a deployment. But it hurts. Cause you have to get used to him being here, then being gone. Don't let anyone get you down. You can message me if you want to talk :)
How often does your hubby have to go out to sea? It's shore duty, right? And long does he go for a time?
DeleteYeah, that's the thing...you get so used to them being here and then they're gone! Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. Feel free to message me too if you need to talk, or shoot me an e-mail. I'm always willing to listen :)